we have a discrepancy in weeks

Hmmmm,

Today the doctor's office called and she thinks I'm less pregnant than I think. I feel unhappy about this and have decided not to listen as I can't bear to lose any days. The way I see it, July 2nd was day 1. That makes 76 days (nearly 11 weeks) or 10 weeks and 4 days. Not 9 weeks 4 days as she says. I think she's wrong. I don't like her system. I'm not listening. Finally we got some happy thoughts from someone - the doctor at the appointment (my discrepancy is with the receptionist) said that once you get past 8 weeks that is a good sign and then 10 weeks is very good. Before that is more touch and go, but once you get this far, things tend to carry on and I liked to hear that instead of the doom-and-gloom approach we had been getting. You'd think almost no one had had a pregnancy happen the way people talk about it, it's shocking.

I need to see this played out in numbers....bear with me...

July 2-8 1 week
July 9-15 2 weeks
July 16-22 3 weeks
July 23-29 4 weeks
July 30-Aug5 5 weeks
Aug 6-12 6 weeks
Aug 13-19 7 weeks
Aug 20-26 8 weeks
Aug 27- Sep 2 9 weeks
Sep 3-9 10 weeks

Oh shit.

I guess I do see it. This is day 4 of my 10th week, which is different from 10 weeks 4 days. So I guess it is 9 weeks and 4 days. But still it is my 10th week! Right? Hmmmm. I don't like this at all. It's like when you first find out you get these 2 bonus weeks you knew nothing about - like really every woman is walking around 2 weeks pregnant - and then suddenly you're not as pregnant as you thought. And you're so scared because all anyone seems to intimate is that you could lose your baby at any second - it's awful and scary and frightening. No one seems to talk about he 75% of pregnancies that go just fine. That 25% looms over you until you get to the second trimester - which feels like forever away - especially when you suddenly lose time.

I feel like a little kid again, the way they always push their ages ahead, like they can't wait to grow up. Ask how old they are and they'll say "6 and 3/4" or "almost 10!" - I guess I've fallen prey to that because I just want so badly for everything to go well. So I guess I'm not 10 weeks and 4 days. I'm only 9 weeks 4 days. And still not out of the woods. I want to cry for no real reason, just that empty feeling like when you look at your bank statement and there's way less money than you thought. It's fine, I know, we're still fine and growing and we just have to be patient. But damn! I hate when numbers are right...