32 weeks - why can't I sleep?

So, insomnia is the name of the game. I cannot remember when was the last time I slept through the whole night. Sometimes if I am lucky I can get back after the first trip to the washroom, but the second trip is killing me and so I am usually up now from 4 until 7 every night, which sucks, although it would certainly be worse if I had a regular 9-5 kind of gig. Otherwise, that's really not such a horrible thing, I do my crossword puzzles and work on my vocabulary and my thank-you and tell-the-universe-what-I-want lists, you know, the usual. The last three nights though I have experienced my first Braxton-Hicks 'practice' contractions, as one book calls them. The first time it happened I thought I had dreamt it, but by the third night I realized what it actually was. I could literally feel the outlines of my uterus as it scrunched itself up, flexing for a a few seconds before relaxing. It's a very strange feeling, although I'm also glad to have a teensy preview of what is to come. I have been feeling quite different these last few days, even had to take a bit of a powder during yoga this weekend as I just felt dizzy and tired. It was good for me to see that though and to give myself permission not to be the yoga queen, not to push myself. Same thing today when I went for my walk through the woods to the library - once I got there I was feeling so strange, and sort of weak that I actually phoned EZ pick me up. I had more to eat when I got home and felt better, but all day today I have felt a lot of pressure, more than I ever had before. I don't feel worried about it, but I did notice a difference - glad to have the midwife coming tomorrow so I can ask the questions I've been saving up this last month, including the myriad questions I have as I lean further and further towards a home water birth. It brings up so many feelings: fear, excitement, joy, everything, just thinking that it won't be too long before we meet our baby, it is a tremendous thing that I can scarcely comprehend. We are planning and settling, deciding, enjoying our last few weeks together...before it all changes.

I spend lots of time just sitting in the baby's room (I added stars and mirrors, as you can see), looking into that space in the crib where in the next 10-odd weeks this little one will lie and I will be able to stare at them for hours, marveling at the wonder of it all. Mom has made her plans to come out in May, Pat and Lolita in April and supposedly, my brother is coming too - hopefully with Jenn and Brody - just another bonus of having a baby - visits from family and friends!