So here we are, finally learning ourselves as a family. It has been a mixed blesing having family come to visit us since we've spent so much time without them, living our independent lives and then when they are here and help so much you really see how much you miss them, how much you have to turn off your heart in order for it not to ache. I can't help but think that there was a day when they sat, as we do, holding a tiny baby and filled with intense love only to have that baby grow up and move away from them - it breaks my heart to think of it. It may seem silly as it is so far away, but it seems years fly by when you have children.
We are trying to put things together, learn our new lives with Nahanni. She really is a wonderful little girl, a good girl. I feel so very lucky and I really try every day to live in the moment with this child, relish every bit of it. I love her tiny face, her dark eyes, her funny little mannerisms and I know that getting to know her will be one of the singular joys of my life. I hate already to see how much she's grown from the little feather I would throw over my shoulder to this somehow warm, weighty little doll. Every look is a little death for me - I could die, I love her so much.
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