Oh dammit - where are those words?

Sometimes I am full of words and sometimes I am not. I guess today is one of the latter days.
I have many good intentions, but I guess I'm out of practice after two months of not writing. I'm feeling in general like things are rusty, creaky. My brain, my body. Not my heart though - it's just tired - it has been overused lately, what with the incredible stress of the last month or so. I'm tired in general - I guess that's the stuff of parenting. I fell asleep last night on top of the covers, book open in my slackened hands - somewhere around 8:30. Wow. I remember when 8:30 was the time to get ready to go out...but that was before Nahanni -- and she is much better than a night out at the bar. I will say this: despite being really tired and sometimes a bit rattled by the boredom that can come with being a hands-on mom, I am finding motherhood to be a supremely enjoyable experience. Watching my child blossom as she does. opening like the most beautiful little flower catching all the rays she can suck up is a truly marvelous thing.
She is doing brilliantly with her sign language and we talk all day long - which can be exciting but exhausting too - especially since I always have to be watching her to see the signs. But she is now putting whole sentences together in sign language (please more out smell flowers!) and seems to learn a new word or sign every day. Her darling little leg pat (the sign for dog) has made way for her even more adorable 'uff uff' and she knows so many animals signs it astounds me. She loves the farm and every time I put her in the car she clucks like a chicken because she thinks that's where we are going. She loves to read books, which is a wonderful thing and I hope that all this time without TV will teach her to really use her imagination first. It is a wonderful world in which I live with her, she is a great joy every day - even through the bleary-eyed state of exhaustion in which her dad and I are both currently stumbling. We look forward to this season, getting her out into the wilderness, maybe even onto a raft. I know I am looking forward to running rivers again - I seem not to be the same person without it. And I look forward to finding the balance between work and baby, life and love, creativity and ambition...and sleep. Precious, precious sleep...

Oh yes, and writing. I hope for a return to some well sorted words.