Now that, I know is not just me.
I carry an awful guilt with me the days that Nahanni drives me nuts. I look at her beautiful face, those big doe eyes and wonder how I can go from wanting to eat her up to wanting to lock her in a closet in a matter of minutes. So far I'm enjoying Zola and her babyness but dreading the day when I have two kids driving me nuts and feel twice as bad of a mother. This is challenging stuff. Well, for most of us. I was in a posh children's store yesterday and a young mother was there. She pulled up in a huge Land Rover and nearly took my eye out with her giant diamond as she walked in the door. She walked around with a doting salesperson (where was my sales suck-up?!?) and filled a satchel with an unimaginable amount of clothes for her 12-month old. "We're going to Hawaii!" she exclaimed, between intermittent cell phone calls. She never once looked at the price tag of the $50+ shirts she was chucking in - her only complaint was that they might shrink when her nanny washed them. I heard her call the nanny once to tell her to steam some carrots for the boy, she'd be home in an hour or so.
I wonder if she ever feels like a bad mother.
Preschool has again come to the table and I have to make a decision fast. Somehow preschool is looking vastly more doable than homeschooling, although I cannot seem to fathom all the responsibilities of parent participation preschool. What has happened to me? What happened to the Wonder Woman I used to be?
Oh yeah, she hasn't slept through the night in a year and she's bloody tired.
And her costume's at the cleaners.
And doesn't fit.
No comments:
Post a Comment